Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and PuppyGate

In which I gasp at the ugliest hat in “Housewives” history, mourn the loss of “Buffy” as we know it, and gag for “Fosse/Verdon.”

PuppyGate is dead; long live PuppyGate. I kid, of course — PuppyGate will never die, because The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at this point would be nothing without it. And even though Rinna (in her least believable performance) insisted to Erika that she’d be happy to never talk about Lucy Lucy Apple Juice ever again, you know that she’s physically…

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